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Post by archer on Mar 8, 2009 22:28:54 GMT 9.5
Willow knocked on the door on Angel's masion, she was always amazed by the sheer size of it, mostly because he didn't share it with anyone, so it was more bemusing then anything else really. After storming out of the library earlier she'd walked around Sunnydale all day, steering clear of the Bronze and Graveyards, she couldn't face Buffy, Xander or Giles yet. She'd found herself near Angel's place as night fell, so it was oly a slim chance that he was in, she thought he might understand what she was thinking because obviously Desmond was a threat to Sunnydale and Angel was always afraid of making things worse, which was exactly how she felt now.
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Post by yolanda7g on Mar 9, 2009 13:59:01 GMT 9.5
Angel sat on the couch, the only light entering the dated interiors of the abandoned mansion coming from the moon and a small lamp. There was knock on the door. Angel closed the book he was reading and paused before standing. He wasn't exactly expecting visitors...ever. Maybe it was Buffy. If it was Buffy, it probably wasn't good news.
Angel sighed, put the book aside, and stood. Straightening the black, open, button up shirt he wore over his white undershirt, he opened the door.
"Willow." Angel said, a tinge of surprise in his voice. Not only was he not expecting her, he was even more surprised to see her after watching her storm out of the library earlier. He knew that he was part of the reason why she was feeling so frustrated. Of course he didn't want to see Willow so upset, but he knew it would take a while for her to realize all of what happened with Desmond was out of her control. The guilt was on his shoulders. He was still mentally wrestling with the ordeal.
Angel came out of his short moment of surprise and moved out of Willow's path. "Come in." He knew she didn't come there to talk about each others' weekends so he started off with a simple question that he thought would apply. "What's wrong?"
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Post by archer on Mar 9, 2009 20:31:17 GMT 9.5
Willow walked into Angel's mansion and looked around at everything before turning around to face Angel, "Sorry I know it's a bit weird for me to be here but I just needed someone to talk to and I can't face Buffy at the minute." She smiled a little but it was weak and barely puled up the corners of her mouth, "Also you kind of know where I'm coming from I'd imagine." She went over to a window and took a quick peek through the curtains, it was nighttime so she wouldn't burn up Angel but she couldn't see much either. "How is Desmond able to ward off my magic? That's never happened before and now I don't feel like I can do magic anymore, it was the one thing I knew would work against vampires and save Buffy but it didn't she almost died becuse my supd magic wouldn't work against a stpid vampire." She blushed a little and quickly added, "No offence, I don't think you're stupid."
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Post by yolanda7g on Mar 10, 2009 2:42:55 GMT 9.5
"Sorry I know it's a bit weird for me to be here but I just needed someone to talk to and I can't face Buffy at the minute. Also you kind of know where I'm coming from I'd imagine."
Angel listen intently to her and returned her weak smile. "Yeah. Yeah, sure, have a seat." He said motioning to the couch. He slowly closed the door as he listen to Willow explain. Angel had a lot of respect for Willow. She was young in her practice, but often showed a lot of bravery when faced with dire situations. To her comment, he smiled weakly. "None taken."
He paused, trying to put his words together coherently. "Look, Willow," He started, his voice soft and reassuring. "Desmond was working with some serious power. Power that was extremely dangerous." He sat on the arm of the armchair in front of the couch, his hands resting on his knees. "But it made him virtually invincible. You can't beat your self up over not being able to stop something like that." His gaze dropped for a second, feeling some disconnect with his words. He knew that he could have stopped him. He was the one who made Desmond. He was the one that almost caused Buffy to die. Angel started to think that maybe Willow came to the wrong person to talk to.
He looked back up at Willow and said, "You did everything you could." He said a tinge of solemness in his voice. "Nothing was your fault. Trust me. And Buffy needs you right now. She needs your help."
It was more than Angel could say for himself. It seems that right when he came into her life, instead of helping her, he was just causing her more pain.
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Post by archer on Mar 10, 2009 3:52:49 GMT 9.5
Willow sat on the couch and put her head in her hands, "But I can't do it Angel, they need me to summon up some stupid magic out of a sword, which would be great if it weren't for the fact that I might release even more demons for her to deal with." She didn't look up because she could see her sadness and doubt echoed in Angel's own face.
"You want to know something really stupid? When Desmond was threatening to kill me I almost wanted him to if it meant that it would all end and Xander Giles and Buffy wouldn't get hurt anymore." She took her head out of her hands but still looked down at her lap, fidgeting her hands restlessly, "If I'd acted sooner Xander wouldn't have got his leg smashed and he might have been able to stop Desmond from giving Buffy the kiss of death.
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Post by yolanda7g on Mar 10, 2009 5:45:11 GMT 9.5
Angel listened, becoming more and more troubled as she spoke. He hated that Willow was blaming herself for this. And he hated to hear that she was entertaining the thought of sacrificing herself for something that should be on Angel's shoulders. Xander, Giles, and Buffy were hurt because of him. No one else.
"Hey, hey," Angel said. "You tried to help them. If Desmond hadn't made himself almost indestructible, it would've worked. I'm the one who put all of them in danger, Willow. Not you." He sighed, lowered his head, and paused for a moment. "You can do this." He looked back up at her and said sincerely, "When they say they need your help they mean it. They wouldn't call on you if they felt that you would put them in any grave danger. Deep down, you know that."
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Post by archer on Mar 11, 2009 4:25:24 GMT 9.5
"You weren't the one who couldn't think of a spell and who didn't think of it fast enough to save Buffy, I could have potentially killed you too Angel! I lost control of that sun ball what if you'd have come back in? I'd have killed the wrong vampire." She appreciated Angel trying to make her feel better and she knew he felt bad too but he hadn't nearly got Buffy killed and Xander hurt badly. That almost hurt as much, the thought of Xander getting hurt because of her made her stomach curl and knot up.
She looked up at Angel, "You did all you could Angel, I just stood there when my plan didn't work and I nearly got you killed because I couldn't think of anything else, that was twice in one night!"
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Post by yolanda7g on Mar 11, 2009 18:08:24 GMT 9.5
Angel sighed, lowered his head, and rubbed his forehead as Willow spoke of almost killing him. If she only knew, only realized, how much he deserved exactly that for all the pain he caused, not even for just Desmond's plight...although that in and of itself would be grounds enough for Angel's demise.
"You did all you could Angel," Willow reassured and Angel, needing to move around, suddenly stood up and paced around the chair he was sitting on as she finished her point. "I just stood there when my plan didn't work and I nearly got you killed because I couldn't think of anything else, that was twice in one night!"
"You don't understand," Angel said, a little more forward than he intended. He had been thinking about what happened with Desmond for a long time, probably longer than he should have. All he kept thinking about was how true Desmond's vengeful words were. He kept playing the scene of his family's death over and over in his head, not being able to shake it. To know that Buffy and now Willow were suffering because of Angelus' actions made him reevaluate his role in Buffy's life. Was he really helping her? From where he was standing at the moment, no. He gazed at Willow for a moment, his brow lowered, and eyes showing his uneasiness.
"Look," he said trying to settle his frustrations. "You didn't kill me, Willow." He paused and diverted his eyes before going over and sitting next to her. "I'm right here. And Buffy is still here. So is Xander. So is Giles. And they need you right now." He paused and dropped his gaze again. "You got to understand...I brought Desmond here. Everything he said about me was true. I created him. And you stood up to him and...I gotta say, it was brave. From your spell alone you knocked out half of the vampires there." He stopped there, feeling uneasy with his words. It was hard to express to such a great young girl that her bravery against a monster he created was admired.
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Post by archer on Mar 12, 2009 20:00:49 GMT 9.5
Willow looked at Angel with confused eyes when he said it was him that had created Desmond, she didn't understand what he was talking about, before she coud say anything though she was forced to blush a deep scarlet when Angel had said what she had done was brave, she hadn't thought of it that way, she'd just wanted a way to save Buffy and that was the only option at the time.
"Angel whatever you did that wasn't the Angel that we know, its not the Angel sitting here infront of me, we all have made mistakes in our past Angel and that's exactly why I'm scared I don't want to make a mistake like that." She felt guilty because she knew it would make Angel feel bad but now she knewit was because of Angel that Desmond was about she was even more scared about what she could potentially do. "How do you even make Desmond?"
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Post by yolanda7g on Mar 13, 2009 17:43:48 GMT 9.5
"Its not the Angel sitting here infront of me," She said.
Angel pressed his lips together and sighed, still clearly troubled. "No, but my past is still following me, Willow." He said gravely and sat back in the couch. "You know...if you think about it Willow," He looked over at her with a hint of a smile. "Buffy has made some mistakes too." He gazed forward again, his eye land on an antique statue in a glass case. "So has everyone. But we still fight, Willow. Because no matter what consequences arise from our mistakes, it's probably for the greater good."
He looked back at her to see if she understood. She asked, "How do you even make Desmond?" Here, Angel diverted his eyes again to the front. "I was his sire." he admitted. "I made him the monster he was."
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Post by archer on Mar 15, 2009 3:07:58 GMT 9.5
"Buffy's mistakes can be fixed! Magical ones are so much harder to fix! They need me of course they do but they need me NOT to make mistakes like I did last time." Willow knew she was going to lose this argument in the end, Angel had more experience with arguments and was coming up with beter answers then she was. Willow didn't know what to say, she didn't even know how it was possible to create a vampire like that and, although she knew of his past, she found it hard to believe that Angel could do that. "But how did you make him invincible then?" She said, still confused.
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Post by yolanda7g on Mar 15, 2009 5:38:06 GMT 9.5
Angel shook his head. "It's not about him being invincible that's important. Desmond wouldn't have been so vengeful, he wouldn't even be a vampire if it weren't for me, Will. I killed his family. He wouldn't have an excuse to go after Buffy or any of you guys." He sighed. "Look, what you did wasn't a mistake. Trust me, Will. Don't be so hard on yourself. Whatever we do wrong, whatever we do right, is much better than doing nothing. You know that Will, I know you do because you know the forces that are against us." He looked into her eyes again, expressing his sincerity.
"Guilt is hard to wrestle with, even if everyone around you tries to convince you that you shouldn't be guilty. I know. But there are things here in this world that our bigger than our guilt. It took me a long time to learn that."
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Post by archer on Mar 15, 2009 20:45:10 GMT 9.5
Willow found it easier to look Angel in the eyes this time, her resolve and self loathing was subsiding How does he do that? She thought, slightly annoyed, she hated losing any argument, even if it was for her own benefit. "I guess you're right." She said, "But you shouldn't feel bad either Angel, what happened to Desmond was because of the old Angel, of Angelus, not of the Angel sitting here before me. The Angel infront of me would never do anything like this and would do anyting to stop it from happening."
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Post by yolanda7g on Mar 17, 2009 13:00:26 GMT 9.5
Angel pressed his lips together and sighed deeply, gazing forward. His eyes shifted uneasily. "Yeah," he uttered dryly.
Angel allowed a brief silence to go by before turning to Willow and giving a small smile. Angel decided to pretend that Willow comforted him, even when she didn't. Angel's burden and what he had to bare for what he did in the past was rightfully on his shoulders. He would have to come to terms with that on his own, if he ever will come to terms with it. But it was generally safe to say there was simply no 'coming to terms' with the pain and torture he's done in his lifetime.
However, he wasn't doing to, in turn, place that burden on Willow. So with his small smile, he said, "Thanks, Will." He paused. "...You should probably should get some rest. Whatever is coming after you guys, you'll probably have to rest up for. I'm sure it's been a long day for you..." He paused again. "...both of us, really." He said honestly.
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Post by archer on Mar 25, 2009 19:35:30 GMT 9.5
Willow knew Angel was right, he usually was, "But I'm scared." She said quietly, almost ashamed to admit it but she couldn't help herself she'd said too much now to not say it. She studied her hands in her lap not looking at Angel, "I'm scared Angel, what if someone DOES die because of me, what if it's Buffy, or Xander, I couldn't deal with that. Not Xander." She could feel tears welling up but she bit them back, knowing Angel probably couldn't cope with tears.
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